A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
