Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
