So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
