Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
