i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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