How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize