office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
