i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
