You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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