Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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