today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
