I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
