Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We are two peas in an std pod
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize