If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
