i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
