from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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