You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
