I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
