Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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