we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
