I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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