I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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