worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
