I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize