kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The feeling are messing with the penis
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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