If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
