yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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