well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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