the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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