Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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