You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize