it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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