Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
third nipple confirmed
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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