At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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