Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
