I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
