It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
