Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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