Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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