I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
