mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
