just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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