my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
