i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
