she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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