I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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