When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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