forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
