At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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