I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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