I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
A bitchslap is in order.
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