love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
