Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
