garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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