Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize