Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
