Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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