I just gift wrapped bread.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The struggles of a small town man whore
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
