She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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