We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
