If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this boner is exhausting
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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