Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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