worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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