that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize