I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
