We won't sleep together?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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