what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize