I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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