how can u be prego again
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
