I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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