Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
