just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We just shotgunned beers for America
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
