The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
