He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
