I will die if light touches me.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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